This week

• Tired of paying for directory assistance? There’s a way to avoid the cost and still get the information you need….
• If you take these drugs to lower your cholesterol, you’re actually putting your heart at risk….
• How to get your husband to talk to you....
• Many leaders lack this one quality – and it hinders how far they can go….
• When times are really bad, the right focus can get you through….
• You’re more like Superman than you know. What do you share in common with the Man of Steel?...
  

“The Bible teaches that Christians are totally different from anyone else.” -  
Peter Jeffery, Evangelicals Then and Now (Buy Now)

Health

The Heart Drugs That Can Destroy Your Heart

If you have high cholesterol and take statins to lower it, beware! Statins are dangerous.

Many studies have found that statins actually harm your heart. In fact, the authors of a study published in the prestigious American Journal of Cardiology found that the drug Lipitor causes heart problems in 71% of the studied patients. The researchers had 14 patients with high cholesterol, but otherwise free of heart problems, take the statin.

Within six months, 10 of the 14 patients developed problems during diastole (the resting phase of the heart’s cycle). When your heart has trouble during this phase, you usually will develop congestive heart failure (CHF).

In anyone's book, a 71% rate is huge. It’s no wonder congestive heart failure is such a huge problem these days. Over 400,000 Americans are diagnosed with it every year. And nearly half of those die from the condition.

Fortunately, if you absolutely must take statins, there’s a simple way to reduce the damage they cause. In the same study, the researchers gave nine of the 10 patients who developed CHF the nutrient coenzyme Q10. The patients took 100 mg orally, three times daily (300 mg daily) for an additional three months while continuing the statin.

Eight of the nine patients saw their diastolic abnormality partially reverse. That’s an 89% success rate! And four of the patients (44%) had their diastolic trouble reverse completely. So if you have to take a statin, make sure you take CoQ10. There’s no known toxicity level for CoQ10, but it is expensive. So most doctors recommend you take 100-400 mg daily.

– Steve Kroening

Source: Second Opinion newsletter, 800-728-2288.

Family & Relationships

3 Ways to Get Your Husband to Talk to You

Last week, we looked at a study that found that most women want their husbands to talk to them. The desire is so great, that the majority of women said this was more important to them than sex, money, or children. So how can a woman get her husband to talk to her?

It’s a tricky question, because the very nature of the question makes it sound like you can manipulate your husband into talking. Well, that’s not the right way to go about it. You can’t simply make someone talk if he doesn’t want to. In fact, if you try, you’re more likely to drive him away than you are to find success.

But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck doing nothing. There are, in fact, many things you can do to encourage him to talk. Let’s look at three of them.

(1) Pray – This seems obvious, but most people pray according to their own desires, not according to their husband’s greatest need. In other words, do your prayers sound something like this, “Lord, please make my husband talk to me.” If they do, then you know your prayers are focused on you and not on your husband.

The next time you pray for your husband, try this instead: Pray for his relationship with God. If he’s not talking to you, then he’s not leading you and your family. He’s not fulfilling his duty as the spiritual leader of the home. So his relationship with God isn’t where it needs to be. You can’t force your husband to have a right relationship with God, but you can pray for him. So pray and trust God.

Once he gets his relationship with God in order, you’ll be amazed at the difference in his willingness to talk. It probably won’t come all at once, though, so be patient.

(2) Give up control – Remember what happened in the Garden of Eden after Adam and Eve fell? The curse against the woman was that she would desire her husband. Another way to think of this is that the woman would desire to control her husband. A major reason a man refuses to talk to his wife is because it’s his way of maintaining control of an area of his life. The minute he opens his mouth about it, a controlling wife will instantly take control of it. So he remains quiet.

Many wives don’t realize they’re controlling. The best way to discover what your husband thinks is to ask himif you're controlling. But be prepared for an answer you may not like. And don’t get defensive. Listen closely to what he says. You might learn something about why he doesn’t talk to you.

If a controlling wife wants her husband to talk, she has to give up control. She can start by repenting and asking God and her husband for forgiveness.

Then she needs to take the focus off of what he’s not doing and turn her attention to what he is doing. Encourage him, praise him, and find ways to build him up. Use Philippians 4:8 as an outline for action: “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

(3) Study your husband – Who does your husband talk to? Why does he talk to them? What does he get from them? By studying your husband’s conversation habits, you might discover some things you’re not offering him in your discussions with him.

Also consider what really turns him on. What are his interests? Try to learn more about those interests and talk to him about them. Remember, the goal here is to start a habit of conversation. So even if it doesn’t go very deep, at least you’re getting him to talk.

Finally, study his strengths and weaknesses? How can you encourage the areas where he’s strong? And how can you help out where he’s weak? Service will go a long way toward starting conversation.

Every man is different. And the reasons they don’t talk are just as varied. But these three principles will help you focus on the real priorities. If you’d like more information and helpful tips, I strongly recommend you read Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby’s book, How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You.

– Steve Kroening

How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You – by Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby (BUY NOW)

Success

How to Make Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie made famous his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.  But it is surprising just how many people struggle with the idea of making friends. In fact, many people in leadership hurt their chances for further growth because they simply don’t know how to do it.

The business magazine Fast Company, in its current edition, highlights the problems of “bosses from hell.” These are the ones who make life very uncomfortable for their employees. They seem to relate better to crowds and audiences than they do one-on-one.  And they lack interpersonal skills.

But you don’t have to be a boss or any other type of leader who makes others miserable. One Christian leader has written a new book entitled Practicing Greatness.  The author’s name is Reggie McNeal and he is director of leadership development for the South Carolina Baptist Convention.

In this book, he gives a list of “essential characteristics we must possess and demonstrate in order to form genuine friendships.”  These are:

* Integrity.  This may seem obvious, but some people have trouble with it. McNeal says it must become “a character quality that permeates every area of a person’s life.”

* Vulnerability.  You need to take risks with friends. Sometimes you need to expose yourself in relationships. According to McNeal, “Perfectionist cultures or environments that have unrealistic expectations” can have a devastating affect on people.  Don’t be afraid of putting yourself at risk in friendships.

* Humility.  You cannot have good friend if you are in constant competition with them. “Humility is the opposite of self-centeredness.” It builds others up and helps them succeed.

* Willingness to Listen. We all love to have someone listen to us. This is why God gives us friends. Become a sympathetic listener and you’ll never be short of friends.

* Sensitivity and Responsiveness. Other people need friends who know when to help and how to help. “Responding to friends requires that we sometimes put other things and people aside in order to be available and helpful to the friend in need.”

* Realistic Expectations.  In any friendship, it’s easy to develop unrealistic expectations.  When that happens, what is your response?  Do you overlook the shortcomings of friends and forgive them when they seem to expect too much from you?

You can have as many friends as you choose to have. It’s just a question of whether you’re willing to pay the “price” of inconvenience, time, and energy in order to cultivate friendships. They don’t just happen by themselves. Why not set the goal of making some new friends? You’ll have a hard time finding anyone who will tell you they don’t want your friendship because they have too many already.

Today, make a new friend. Don’t settle for just one – get many friends. And enjoy life.

- Ian Hodge

Source:Practicing Greatness – by Reggie McNeal (BUY NOW)

Wisdom From History

Hope in the Face of Death

You probably already know the story of Corrie ten Boom. She was the woman who bravely saved the lives of countless Jews during the Nazi occupation of Holland. After being betrayed by a neighbor, she and her family ended up in Dutch prisons.

A few months later, Corrie was transferred to the notorious Ravensbrueck concentration camp in Germany. The conditions were horrible and Corrie’s sister Betsie, who was transferred with her, died shortly after arriving.

So how did Corrie survive? She refused to despair. While living in misery, she kept her focus on the other inmates. She tried to help those who had lost hope regain their desire to live. She didn’t just speak with them, she prayed and sang with them. And she told them stories.

“Before long we were holding clandestine Bible study groups for an ever-growing group of believers, and Barracks 28 became known throughout the camp as ‘the crazy place, where they hope.’”

She did everything she could to help them – and it worked for many of them. But it provided even more comfort for her than it did for them.

– Steve Kroening

Recommended reading: The Hiding Place – by Corrie ten Boom (BUY NOW)

Word for the Wise

What Destroys Superman

“but we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness or adulterating the word of God” –  2 Corinthians 4:2

Hidden - Why does the mythology of Superman endure? From time immemorial, men and women have all wanted to be super people. Invulnerable. Powerful. Rescuers of others. What makes the Superman myth so appealing? Isn't it the fact that each of us experiences our own frailty and finitude? Isn't it the result of recognizing how perilously temporal we really are? That mortality affects even Superman. There is one thing that brings him to his knees. One thing that can destroy him. Do you remember what it is? It's kryptonite, of course. The secret weapon against the Man of Steel. It's this part of the mythology that really demands our attention. We may not be men and women of steel, but we certainly share one thing with Superman. We have our own kryptonite.

Paul calls it the "hidden" things of shame. The Greek word is kryptos. What is our kryptos? It is those secrets about us that would shame us if anyone ever really knew. Just like the radiant green rock for Superman, the kryptos in our lives wields deadly power. Whenever it surfaces, we are shattered, shaken and stricken. We come close to death, perhaps not of our bodies but certainly of our reputations and our identities. The power of kryptos is the secret of shameful things. It lurks in the background of our lives. We never know when someone will uncover these terrible secrets and unmask us. And so we fear the truth-- the truth that will confirm our bondage, not our freedom.

Are you afraid to look at kryptos? Do you deliberately avoid any mention of those secrets that might reveal a different "you"? Are there moments when you feel the adrenaline rush of exposure? Then you should know that you are not alone. The secret of every one of us is that shame lies beneath our public face. Under the surface, we are alike. That's why Paul can say, "we have renounced". That's why Paul can make a public declaration of his shame and destroy its secret power. But, oh, how frightening it is to think of such renunciation. So much easier to confess it privately to God, where no one else will hear. When Protestant Christianity gave up the confessional, it threw out the baby with the bathwater. We, all of us, need confession. It is the only way to get rid of the threat of kryptonite.

A private, fearless moral inventory is a useless exercise. Until you tell it to someone else, and to God, the green rock glows. Confession really is good for the soul.

– Skip Moen

(Ed. Note: Skip Moen, PhD, is the president of At God’s Table (http://www.atgodstable.com) and the author of Words to Lead By.

Resources

Evangelicals Then and Now - by Peter Jeffery (BUY NOW)

How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You – by Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby (BUY NOW)

How to Win Friends and Influence People – by Dale Carnegie (BUY NOW)

Practicing Greatness – by Reggie McNeal (BUY NOW)

The Hiding Place – by Corrie ten Boom (BUY NOW)

Words to Lead By – by Skip Moen, PhD. (BUY NOW)

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